This body of work “Fertile Infertility” is an investigation of my personal journey with fertility, infertility, age and motherhood.
Because art can only ask questions, my goal is to establish conversations with both women and men about issues that are relevant to the times we live in, where woman have choices and motherhood is no longer a requirement nor a priority. Yet ironically, the luxury of having such choices is also dictated/limited by a biological clock and financial feasibility.
This project proposes to function as a vehicle for dialogue with viewers and among viewers. This dialogue among viewers will expand awareness of the complexities surrounding this topic, which even in this day and age is still considered a taboo.
Inspired by images of my own blastocyst (embryos) photographed while undergoing fertility treatments, none of which resulted in a positive pregnancy, I began exploring the social and biological impact of motherhood, fertility, and infertility in contemporary lifestyles.
This body of work speaks to my battle against time, my obsession with trying to get pregnant, the social pressures I encountered through my journey and the huge lengths, both physically and financially in which we undertook in order achieve a positive pregnancy.
I explore different materials to express the journey of undergoing fertility treatments. Wax, resin, needles, plastic babies, gold leaf, fabric, ink, graphite and video are some of the tools I used in the creation of the pieces to evidence the multidimensional aspect of my experience.
My work is repetitive because of the nature of the project. Droplets of wax applied over and over again are just like the needles injecting hormones over and over again in my body. Wax is a medium I use to symbolize fertility.
The egg, especially the “the golden egg”, was always at the forefront of my obsession, always looking for it and never being able to find it.
Obsessed with our biology and how two cells interacting with each other have the ability of creating life highlighted nature’s incredible ability of designing it’s own composition.
Cold petri dishes used to design life to be later implanted in my body.
Design babies, creating the perfect DNA sequencing, one baby, two babies, three babies, and all the possibilities I can imagine at my fingertips, if only I had more money.
Use of the question “Do you have kids?” dropped in almost any new social interaction and the awkward and uncomfortable moments that follow after I give my answer.
Through out this journey I was never able to answer my own questions about fertility, but through the art making process came the realization that as a woman I should not be defined by the number of children I have or not have, and that in spite of my biological limitations as a creator of life, I am still a creator of ideas.